Heather was always a pro at shopping for clothes—nothing flashy, just high-quality, well-fitting, and practical pieces. She took real satisfaction in finding the right item at a good price and stretched out her buying process to make it last. She was never impulsive and never went overboard. But with everything falling apart, I suddenly found myself in charge of all that. I had to figure out where things were, what fit, what didn’t, and most challenging of all, accepting and adjusting to the fact that I could now rearrange or even throw out stuff without her noticing. It’s like none of it matters to her anymore.
So, I set up systems—not just for myself, but to make things easier for anyone else who might need to help. I’ve got a new open-shelf storage system, a laundry system that works for me, and a method for discarding clothes that don’t fit or will never be used again, like fitness wear and bike shorts.
Another thing I had to learn fast was how to buy women’s clothing for her. Things changed quickly—she gained weight and is losing mobility. I had to figure out how to buy a bra online, which was tricky with her speech loss and limited mobility making fittings impossible. Some suggested I just stop using bras, but Heather’s always preferred wearing one, and I want to honor that. I quickly learned about Skechers Slip-In shoes and stretchy fleece pants, how to understand sizing, and which fabrics hold up in the wash. It’s all new to me, and I’m doing my best. Shopping has to be done either online or squeezed into my precious free time, so I just dive in and hope for the best.