A Difficult Milestone and a New Realization
It’s only been two weeks since my last update, but as I’ve been telling Hetty, and others, it feels like we hit a new milestone every week. And by milestone, I don’t mean just a small change—these are significant shifts that alter how we care for Heather and how I’m forced to think about the future.
In my last post, I mentioned Heather’s declining mobility. Unfortunately, in just these past two weeks, it’s worsened. She’s fallen out of bed a couple of times, though after upgrading her bed rail, that’s no longer an issue. But this week, she fainted in the shower. Looking back, I think it was a combination of starting her morning routine too early – before coffee and breakfast. Lesson learned. Perhaps her blood pressure was low, which caused her to faint and sit down in the shower.
In that moment, I quickly realized how challenging it was to get her back on her feet in such a confined space. I ended up removing the shower doors so we could help her stand. Thankfully, she was okay after that, though I imagine there may have been some lingering emotional shock. But, as is often the case, it’s likely forgotten by now.
The hardest part of this update is that I’ve written to our Continuing Care organization to place Heather on the waiting list for long-term care (LTC). I’ve learned the process can take six months to a year, and even then, you’re not obligated to accept the spot right away—you can defer. The idea of this has been one of the most heartbreaking decisions I’ve had to face. The thought of sending Heather away from her home, and from me, is incredibly painful. But the reality is becoming clearer: there may come a time when it’s necessary for her safety, and when I can no longer care for her at home, even with support.
YANA: You Are Not Alone
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the phrase “You Are Not Alone” (YANA). It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while, and I feel like it could become a bit of a movement. So many of us just need to know that we’re not going through this journey alone, that others are listening, and that we can find people who’ve experienced similar challenges. Simply knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference.
I’ve been invited to speak at the Alzheimer’s Society’s annual conference this year, and I think my talk will focus on two things: my “Meow Meow” caregiving philosophy and YANA. It’s a message that has never felt more important.
