Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity or brain plasticity, is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. It is when the brain is rewired to function in some way that differs from how it previously functioned.
It’s the “fake it till you make it” principle. Another expression that captures this is “neurons that fire together, wire together.”
We see it in practice with that crazy seeming “laughing yoga” activity. Laughing yoga, also known as laughter yoga, involves a series of movement and breathing exercises to promote deliberate laughter. It’s used as a remedy for physical, psychological, and spiritual ailments, as advocates believe that intentional (simulated) laughter can provide benefits equal to those of spontaneous laughter (e.g., laughing at a joke). Healthline: Laughing Yoga
Why am I sharing this? Well… I’m trying to use this “fake it till you make it” approach to help me get through my days.
I share my thoughts on social media and here when I’m happy and feeling up, and I also share when I’m challenged and struggling. But I’m pretty sure I would rather feel happy and up and able to cope well than the alternative, so I try to force happy. Follow along to see how I do it.
My days are like every caregiver’s day… there are victories and happiness interspersed with huge challenges, stress, upset, anxiety, and ongoing ambiguous grief. With heightened emotions and the greater vulnerability, honesty, and openness that many of us experience, we see higher peaks and lower valleys throughout the course of the day. Our physical and emotional batteries seem to charge and drain more rapidly and in more frequent cycles than “in the before times.” I can bounce between waves of love, appreciation and purpose, and deep exhaustion and sadness at loss, all in the course of a few hours. I was never like that before. I used to run pretty level and stable all day, every day. I used to tell Heather “I’m a very simple and shallow man”. Things have changed, and that’s OK.
Example #1: There are times when Heather succumbs to whatever emotional part of her brain tells her to get upset or cry. It happens every day when I get her ready for bed, often when I guide her to the toilet, and at a few other seemingly random times during the day. She goes into this blubbering half-crying, half-laughing mode. It’s so hard to tell what’s going on, but I do know that she’s flustered and unhappy. So a while ago, I held her face in my hands and said, “Honey, please don’t cry… it’s no fun for you, and it’s hard on me. How about when you feel it starting, you say ‘MEOW MEOW’ instead?” I know she didn’t understand most of that, but with some repetition, I think she caught on… so now when things go bad, I look at her and say “MEOW MEOW,” and she will repeat it through the blubbering, and I can hear the tone change to a bit of laughter in there. And here’s the magic: even if it doesn’t change her all that much, it changes me, and it’s a new way to react to stress. It’s a whole new soundtrack to my caregiving activities. It’s playful, and it rewires my thoughts in the moment, and that’s as good as anything!
Example #2: When I open my eyes in the morning, sometimes there’s a temptation to think, “Oh f*ck, here we go again,” and to feel sorry for myself, with good justification! However, if I pause and take a moment to force myself to smile and repeat a couple of positive phrases in my mind, it actually changes how I feel when my feet hit the floor. I’m not minimizing the stress and difficulty of caregiving here; I acknowledge, recognize, and understand just how darn hard it is for people, but if I can trick my brain into thinking it’s happy, that’s a far better state to begin the day than feeling sad and miserable. It’s like medicine, and it’s worth a try.
And just so you know that I’m still feeling it like so many of you, I’m pretty sure that I cry at least once every day now.
Click the link below for more information on neuroplasticity.
Seems to me good practical advice. You describe your scenarios and simple but eloquent terms. Each situation is unique, but the tricks that you employ our generalizable. Well done
Thanks for your comment GvG… !
MEOW MEOW MEOW.
Keep choosing happy as often as you can John. Your family is with you!
I would have a mighty and difficult struggle without family support Ward. We are blessed.